Yeah, this is my titty. I mean, this is my city.
Great. And Lee, you know Hu Li and the Triads, correct?
- Yes. - Great.
Can you do me a favor? Can you find out where Hu Li's keeping the plates?
- That ain't no problem. - Thank you.
So welcome aboard, gentlemen.
From now on, you're officially working for the United States Secret Service.
Secret Service agent James Carter.
That sounds good. It's got a nice ring to it, don't it?
I'm tellin' you, Lee, give me six months.
Six months and I'll be in Washington, D.C., protectin' the president.
We both know you would never take a bullet for someone else.
Yeah, but they don't know that.
I'm gonna talk to Isabella, see if she can hook somethin' up.
- Seein' how she stared at a brother. - She never even look at you.
Just jealous, Lee, 'cause the girl chose me...
'cause I'm tall, dark and handsome, and you Third-World ugly.
I'm not Third-World ugly. Women like me.
They think I'm cute, like Snoopy.
Lee, Snoopy is six inches taller than you.
Lee and Carter are officially out of the Secret Service's way.
Correct.
This is my informant's place. They got pretty good ribs here too.
I like kosher.
Hey. Hey, wait.
Oh, I know I don't think I see what I see what I'm thinkin'!
I know good and well y'all ain't gamblin' back here!
- This is supposed to be a restaurant! - What you doin' here, James?
You about to go to jail, and all your little friends.
Everybody pack up your stuff and let's get outta here.
- All right, let's talk outside. - You wanna talk outside?
Yes.
Let's go if you wanna talk. As long as you wanna talk.
Where you get that from? I like that.
That's good. What's up, Kenny?
- James Carter. - What's up?
I heard you was gettin' your ass kicked out there in Hong Kong, brother.
- What? - That's right.
- Who told you that? - I got my sources.
- Don't you worry about that. - They tellin' you lies.
Look, I'm about to bust you if you don't give me some information.
How you gonna come up here and jam me up like this, James?
You embarrass me in front of my wife, my kids out there.
Kenny, you embarrassin' yourself.
You a black man with a Chinese restaurant on Crenshaw.
You come up in here, you ain't show me no badge.
You ain't even flashed a warrant.
Know what I'm gonna do for you? I'm gonna whup your ass.
And then I'm gonna whup your ass.
Kenny, we'd love to see that. We would.
- Come on, Kenny! - Come on!
- Do it!
I'll shoot you and say you fell in the kitchen.
- Come on! - You better chill out.
- Kenny, calm down, Kenny! - What...
Twisting Tiger.
Where did you learn that?
Master Ching taught me.
Master Ching from Beijing?
No... Freddy Ching's in Crenshaw.
Oh. They're brothers.
Oh, all right, all right.
Why are you hanging out with 7-11?
7-11?
Because his mouth never closes.
Hey! I heard that. I heard that.
Don't be talkin' about me, man.
- You're here about some funny money? - How you know?
- C-notes, right? - Yeah.
Any of 'em came through here?
One of my regulars came in a few days ago...
dropped about 50 large on the tables in there.
I was about to go down there with my boys and tune his ass up...
but he comes in the next day with the whole thing.
Brand-new one hundred dollar bills, sequential.
I figure they're fake, 'cause this guy's got a regular day job.
So I test 'em, and they checked out.
You still have the bills?
Still got my lunch money from the third grade.
Let me see 'em.
Hold it. What are you doin'?
It's fake.
He got you. Who you say gave that to you?
Cat named Zing. Work down at Reign Plaza.
You better hope you find him before I do.
Excuse me. L.A.P.D.
We're lookin' for a guy named Zing.
Come here! Come back here!
Hey! Hey! You little rascal!
Get back here! Get back here right now!
The great Chief Inspector Lee.
I'll be remembered for getting rid of you.
Know what? I don't even know why the hell I'm here.
I ain't even Chinese.
All right, I'm sorry.
I think there's someone who would like to talk to them first.
What'd you do that for? That was unnecessary!
You knocked out my filling, girl. That's gonna cost you.
I ain't never hit a woman in my life, but your ass is pushin' it!
Okay, all right. I'll go.
Better watch your back.
What happened?
That lady Isabella knock you out. She played you.
- No. - Yes, she did.
- She save our life. - What?
- Hu Li could have killed us. - Are you crazy, man?
Look at us. We good as dead!
- Stop your whining! - What you gonna do if I don't stop?
I will slap the hell outta you right now, Lee.
- I'll bitch-slap you back to Africa! - You will?
Let me see that. I wanna see you do that!
You don't know who you're messin' with, man!
You don't know who you're messin' with, do you?
- I'll bite your damn nose off. - You bite... Come on!
I don't trust her.
It's a mistake having her here.
Our orders are to leave her alone.
I want to slice those pretty lips right off her face
and bury her in the desert with those two cops.
Some apple?
I'd put that knife away, bitch, before you have an accident.
Ain't no use, man.
Just tell me how the Triads are gonna kill us.
They will torture us for three days.
- I can handle that. - Then they'll cut off our egg rolls.
Cut off our egg rolls? Hell, no!
Let's get the hell outta here! Come on, don't give up!
- I don't wanna die! - Be quiet.
- Okay, give me your left leg. - What for?
Left leg!
Like this.
- Hold tight. - Okay.
That's it. Bite that thing.
Bite it like a little monkey!
Bite it! There you go.
Yank it! Use them tiger teeth!
Yeah! Grab it! Pull on it!
You almost got it. That's it.
Oh, shit!
- What the hell? - Wow!
Lee, untie me. Hurry up, man!
All these statues full of money.
Hello, Benjamin!
- What are you doing? - I'm takin' this for evidence.
You feel that?
Yeah. We slowin' down, man.
- What happened? - I'll tell you what happened.
Come on, Lee!
Carter, go up.
- What happened? - You left me.
I didn't leave you. I was waitin' up there for you.
Whoa, man! I ain't goin' in there!
- Come on! - There's rats in there!
- There's no rats! - Look at that rat!
Las Vegas?
What the hell we doin' in Vegas?
Look. Red Dragon.
That's the name of Ricky Tan's boat.
Lee.
- Let's go. - Let's go.
- Sorry. - Damn!
One at a time. What the hell is wrong with you?
- Wait a second, man. - What?
- We can't go in there like this. - Why?
- We got to look fly. - What you mean, "fly"?
We got to mack out. We can't go in like this.
What does it mean, "mack out"?
Follow me, my Asian brother. I'll show you.
Come on.
That's where we're going.
When we get in there, you stay a couple steps behind me.
You smell a little funky. I think you stepped in rat shit.
It was a cowboy hat, and now it's a pith helmet.
Hold on. Talk to you in a bit.
Hi. Can I help you?
Yeah, I'm gonna need black, 42 long...
and nothing touches this body but pure silk.
And get my partner something from the kids' department.
Would your partner like to be wrapped in silk as well?
Some people think it's tacky, but I enjoy it when couples dress alike.
No, this ain't no couple thing, man.
We're police officers on a dangerous case, and we need clothes.
Yes. There are a lot of men chasing us.
As well they should be. You have nothing to worry about, okay?
Because I'm gonna turn you two into the belle of the ball.
- Thank you. - Absolutely. Let's start with you.
You've got a mochaccino face, wonderful skin, and the big, broad shoulders.
Let's put a dead animal on you. Croc skin.
Butter cream, croc skin, butter cream...
What size is the waist? Let's go in.
Hey! Watch it, sweetness!
- He's got some fire to him. - Honey cups!
- I like that. - Go get the clothes! Hurry up!
I'll pull some items. Oh, Jesus. Li'l Kim, I'll be back.
- You see that? - He likes you.
I'm not shopping with you no more.
- Act like you're rich. - Ladies and gentlemen...
Steven Reign...
owner and founder of the Red Dragon Casino.
Thank you.
Good evening.
A thousand years ago, a small, wealthy village in China...
hired a young dragon to guard their treasures in a cave.
The people of the village started sneaking him extra food...
hoping to make him stronger.
The dragon grew so big he got stuck...
and the treasure was trapped behind him...
for all eternity.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have found that lost treasure.
It is here, inside the greatest casino in the world!
Welcome to the Red Dragon...
where everybody is a winner!
Black, 29.
Look at this place, Lee. It's the biggest front in the world.
Yeah, right...
- Would you like a drink? - Cigarettes?
- Put your arms around me. - What?
Hold me close. There are cameras everywhere.
- What's going on? - I think I may be in trouble, Lee.
I really need your help.
Last time you needed my help, I woke up in a truck.
I'm undercover, Lee. I had no choice. You have to trust me.
Look over my right shoulder. That's the soft count room.
We think the plates are in there.
- I need you to go and get them. - Why don't you go get them?
Because if I'm wrong, then my entire cover is blown. You understand?
How do I know I can trust you?
Dip me.
I'm asking for real now.
Will you help the Secret Service?
What are you doing? Thank you, man. Take this.
- Dancing. - Dancing?
Man, I'm up here working, putting my life on the line...
and you're up here, dancing with some bimbo?
- Does she have a friend? - That was Isabella.
She says the plates are in the soft count room.
I know you didn�t just say Isabella. Are you crazy, man?
- That girl is setting you up again. - No. I'm gonna find out.
No, wait, man.
There's security all over. If you're gonna do this, you need a distraction.
So keep your eye on me, and you'll know when to make your move.
- Good. - Cool.
- Come on, big eight! - Come on, Tex!
Hey, hey, hey! Good roll, man!
This table's hot! I want some of this money. Get me in this game.
Let me have a Diet Pepsi and some hot wings.
- 100,000. Give him the chips. - Let's play! I'm gonna get some!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this?
No, sir. I did not. I just assumed that...
- Is that it? - No, I didn't think that at all, sir.
- You a racist? - No, I'm not, sir.
- How did that happen? - It just happened. I'm sorry.
This is crazy. You think my people suffered 362 years of slavery...
Do I look like Chicken George to you?
- You do not. - What the hell is that?
- I think you should calm down. - I think you should go count something.
Hurry up. I just want to be treated fairly. Is that too much to ask?
- No. - Is that too much to ask?
I got a problem on table nine.
Why are no black people performing in this hotel? We ain't good enough?
We got Lionel Richie performing here tonight.
Lionel Richie ain't been black since the Commodores, man.
What about Peaches and Herb? Gladys Knight and the Pips?
Ike and Tina? They can get back together. This is crazy.
Sir, why don't you calm down, win some money and have some fun?
I ain't calmin' down no more! I'm sick of you tryin' to calm me down.
We got a problem. Go.
I have a dream...
that white people and black people...
and even Chinese people can gamble together...
without gettin' different chips!
Hallelujah!
Hold it. In the spirit of brotherhood, let's just play craps, man.
Come on. Let's go. Come on!
Oh, shit.
Get him! Stop!
Inspector Lee, this is a ying-tao grenade.
Please follow me.
Or I'll push this detonator,
and blow your 32 teeth into your brain.
Winner.
Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
I feel good. Who put their hand on my butt?
Do it again. Give me that. How much I win?
200,000, sir.
All right.
This seven I'm about to roll...
is for the 27 years Mandela spent in that prison and couldn't get justice...
and took all that crap.
That's why I ain't gonna crap out. This one is for Mandela!
A winner. Seven.
Out.
Imagine a business where people hand you money...
and you hand them back absolutely nothing.
Now, that's the real American dream.
Thanks to a few pieces of metal...
and a most beautiful U.S. Customs agent...
I'm back in business.
Look at you, Lee.
You look ridiculous.
You know it didn't have to be like this.
It's too bad.
Like father, like son.
He's headed for the penthouse.
Look at this old fool.
What does he think he's doing?
I tell you, it's almost impossible to find a partner...
that is trustworthy and loyal.
Don't you agree, Lee?
Everything stays on the table. Don't nobody touch it. You understand?
Winner, four high.
- Yes! - Come on, sir.
Tell them to get rid of Lee's friend.
- Cash me out. - Sir, get off the table.
Thank you very much.
The trouble with partners is, they die.
As will you.
Have fun.
After I'm through with you you'll be begging me to push this button.
Don't move! U.S. Secret Service! You're under arrest.
These gentlemen will escort you to the cashier.
Good, 'cause I don't want to get jumped by these rich white folks. Let's go.
I appreciate this, fellas. You never can be too safe.
What the...
I'm sorry, man. Did that hurt?
Hey, you! Hold it!
You okay?
Black man get on a roll, y'all start trippin'.
- Y'all get back! - Calm down!
Get back! Get back! Get back!
- Hey, get down. - Drop the stick.
Where you been, Lee? I been on a roll, man!
What happened to you, man?
What's that light in your mouth?
Oh, man, this can't be good.
Move! Would you get out of my way?
What's wrong with you?
What happened to you, man?
Why the hell you didn't tell me you had a bomb in your mouth?
- I did! - No, you didn't!
- I said "Mmm!" - What the hell is "Mmm"?
Ricky Tan's still alive. We have to get to the penthouse.
Ricky Tan dead.
What you talking about?
Lee. Go after Ricky, man. I got this.
- Carter... - Just go, man. I got this.
I'm not gonna hold back on you this time just because you're a woman.
I'm gonna pretend you're a man.
A very beautiful man with a perfect body...
who I'd like to take to the movies.
You don't know nothing about this, do you? Egyptian style, girl.
You want some of this? Come on.
Bring it on!
- Are you okay? - I'm fine.
You need help.
I didn't know which side you were on.
Well, now you know.
What's wrong with you, woman?
Mmm, you smell good.
Thank you, Benjamin. Thank you.
We could have been a good couple. We could have had something special.
But you one crazy-ass bitch!
Americans love to gamble, don't they, Mr. Reign?
I never gamble.
Oh, I'm cutting our deal short.
And my plates?
The plates stay with me. I'm sure you won't have a problem with that.
I enjoyed that little story you told...
about the dragon and the treasure.
My mother used to tell it to me all the time.
Do you know the moral of that story?
Greed will imprison us all.
I hate that fortune-cookie shit.
Just like your father.
I really did try to help him, you know.
To share with him.
To make your life better.
But he was too weak.
- Too afraid of change. - Give me the plates.
- It's over. - I don't think it's over.
There are casinos all over this country.
I can make you a very rich man, Lee.
Don't make the same mistake your father did.
If you reach for that gun, I'll kill you.
Don't you remember? I'm already dead.
Hey, Ricky. How you doin'?
Lee, I see you got everything under control.
I'm gonna go downstairs and... Goddamn!
- What happened to Reign? - Shall I tell you how your father died?
Hey, hey. Wait one second, Lee.
It ain't worth it, man. He tryin' to trick you.
- Don't go too far, now. - He never begged for his life...
- or tried to make a deal. - Put the gun down.
All he asked me, just seconds before I pulled the trigger...
was that I promise not to kill you.
Oh, he was so pathetic.
Oh, hell, no. He went too far. Shoot his ass right now, Lee!
What are you gonna do?
All you got to do is pull that trigger back and bam!
Are you going to spend the rest of your life hiding like your father?
Man, don't let him talk about your daddy like that. Shoot him, Lee.
- You can't do it, can you? - Yes, hell, you can, Lee.
- Ain't nobody up here but us. - Just as I thought.
He tryin' to punk you. Shoot him!
If you ain't gonna shoot him, kung fu his ass or something.
Damn! Good kick, Lee.
It was an accident.
That's okay. We'll just say he tried to catch a cab.
What's that in your... Oh, hell, no.
Lady, you listen to me right now.
- Put that bomb down and turn it off! - Carter, we have to jump!
You crazy. I ain't jumpin'.
- Use your jacket! - Hey, turn that bomb off!
Crazy-ass...
That wasn't so bad.
I cannot believe I flew 10,000 miles for this shit.
Detective Lee, I hate to admit it...
but the United States Secret Service is indebted to you.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
I'll see you on board.
I want to thank you too.
It was nice working with you.
I saw that.
You sly devil, you. She kissed you, didn't she?
You played it cool, too, walking away and not looking back. I like that.
Yeah. I'm a player.
- Where is she headed? - She's going to New York.
- Is that your gate down there? - Yep.
Well, I'm this way.
- Guess that means good-bye. - I guess so.
Thank you, Carter.
Take good care of yourself, Lee.
- Oh, Carter. - Yeah, Lee?
What's up?
There is something I want you to have.
No. This is your daddy's badge. I can't take that, man. No way.
It's okay. No. Finally, I can let it go.
Thank you, man. Hey.
You know what? I got something for you too.
I got it at the tables this morning at Caesar's. I'm still hot.
- I can't take this. - Don't worry. I got a lot more.
- Go ahead. Enjoy yourself. - No, Carter. I can't have this.
Would you stop acting like a cop for one second and live it up?
There got to be something you want. Come on.
Think about it.
This is the final boarding call for Flight 44 to La Guardia.
I always wanted to go to Madison Square Garden, see the Knicks play.
- New York City? - First class.
- The Plaza Hotel? - Maybe a little mu shu?
- Amen to that, brother. - So, what do you say?
You know what, man? I can use another vacation.
- Action! - Let's go!
- You all right? - Is he okay?
- Jackie, you okay? - Jackie always okay.
- Is this the kosher meal? - Yes, sir. That's our kosher meal.
- What's the name of it? - Gefilte.
- Gefilte fish. - "Filk" fish.
Lox and bagels. It's my favorite.
- What's the name of this stuff? - Gefilte fish.
"Gefilke" fish... What's the name of this fish?
You know what this is? What is it?
- Gefilte fish. - It's "filte" fish.
"Filte" fish. You want some of my "filte" fish?
You want any of this... What's the name of the fish?
Gefilte fish! All right. Okay.
- Gefilte fish. I love this stuff. - I really don't.
You have black people all over the world eatin' this.
Who eats lox and bagels? I'll have some "gilte" fish.
Lady! Jackie, kick it.
Okay. Chris Tucker!
- Jackie, kick it. - Jackie again?
We'd love to see that. Wouldn't we love to see that, Jackie?
Jackie, we'd like to see that.
Now, Jackie, wouldn't we love to see that?
- His name is Lee, goddamn it. - Lee, we would love to see that.
We would love to see that, wouldn't we, Lee?
- There's gotta be something you want. - I always want to go to Sw...
I always want to go to Scra...
I always dreamed to "Square Marden."
I always wanted to...
Now I'm gone. Now I'm nervous.
Every "garden," I'm nervous. Madison Square Garden.
I always wanted to go to this Madison...
- There are a lot of men chasing us. - As well there should be.
'Cause you're a very good-looking man. If I didn't have a girlfriend...
I'd take a run at you, put you in a bubble bath...
and put some water wings on you and spank your little bottom.
But listen. Here's what we do, guys. Easy, easy.
Look, you're giggling at me. I'll take you home and just punish you.
I need both of you.
You sly devil, you. She kissed you, didn't she?
- Yeah. - I like that.
Oh. Hold on.
- Who's calling? - Hello?
Hello? I'm filming, man.
Call me back at 7:00. I'm filming.
I'm looking Jackie Chan dead in his eye. Call me back.
- Call me back. - Are you a professional? We are filming.
- You turn on your phone? - No, you can't speak to Jackie Chan.
No! They want to speak to you, Jackie.
- Hello? - I'm sorry about this.
We are filming right now!
You're sorry? You wasted all our film!
Call me back later. 7:00.
Damn! He ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3.